literature

How to Annoy Snape

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94xSuperAngel's avatar
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Literature Text

NOTE: I own nothing! This is fan-made!

1. Follow him everywhere.

2. Whenever he gives out a detention in class yell "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

3. Get the Death Eater mark and say to Snape "Look we match!"

4. When Snape starts speaking go "OMG! It's that terrorist from Die Hard!"

5. Ask Snape if he's anti-depressant.

6. Ask if he's a vampire.

7. Ask him does he ever change his clothes.

8. Put a "CAUTION WET FLOOR" on his desk.

9. Give him shampoo.

10. Tell him that Filch accidently swallowed some lust potion (the object of which being Snape).

11. Tell Snape that Filch wants to have a freesome with him and Mrs. Norris.

12. Next time he glares at you just hug him (extra points if he freaks out).

13. Read in his class (and make sure he knows) all the Slash fictions of him and James.

14. Next time he's mean, ask him if he's on a period.

15. Tell him that McGonagall wants to snog him.

16. Ask him how he's feeling.

17. Put him a room filled with fan-girls.

18. Tell him that Lucius has a crush on him.

19. Hide an alarm clock in his room that will go off at 2:00 am.

20. Ask Snape if he's heard of the "Song that Never ends".

21. Sing the "Song that Never ends".

22. Spike his drink just before breakfast.

23. When he tells you to stop singing, tell him that you've got a charm on yourself and it can only be broken if he kisses you. It must be a proper kiss.

24. Tell him you think Slytherin sucks.

25. Pass a note to Harry when he's walking by and watch his face turn red when he reads it out loud.

26. When he storms off go "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS SEVERUS?! IT'S YOUR BABY!" Hide in a really good spot when he chases you.

27. Tell him that you're his lost daughter/son. When he doesn't believe you, hand him DNA tests.

28. Ride on his back whenever he leaves for the Death Eaters or the Order.

29. Skip the next potions class.

30. Ask him if his Bogart is shampoo.

31. Send him Dobby for a Christmas present.

32. Give him anonymously chocolates that have been charmed to love you. Tell him anonymously that they should been eaten just before potions class.

33. Take photos during that lesson and send them to the papers, Death Eaters, the Order and post them around Hogwarts.

34. Ask him if he's ever heard of Joe's song from "Help I'm a Fish!"

35. Sing Joe's song from Help I'm a Fish.

36. Don't pay attention to his class.

37. When he calls you a know-it-all, tell him you want it.

38. Try to hold his hand.

39. Ask him if he's goth.

40. Ask him if he's emo.

41. Post around school "Snape is the best teacher ever!"

42. Dance on his table.

43. Place CTV cameras in his bedroom.

44. Giggle during his classes.

45. Wink at him whenever he walks by.

46. Beg for him to dance with you at the Yule Ball. It doesn't matter if you're a boy, it would freak him out more.

47. Tell him that when you look in the mirror an image of you and Snape married always comes up. Yet again doesn't matter if your a boy.

48. Hide a Blast-ended skrewt under his desk.

49. Have a water bomb fight in his class.

50. Give him the list…
Hehe I'm so evil >:)

I'd personally do all of these, except for the fan-girl one because he's mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!
© 2011 - 2024 94xSuperAngel
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avatarband's avatar
died laughing...